Tuesday 28th September 2010
by Francesca Donner
Baby Knows Best
Mothering is HARD. There’s no one way to do things. There’s no right way to do things. It’s an art form that’s desperately devoid of facts — trial and error are the rules of the game.
But it’s not for a lack of literature on the topic. There are manuals galore, yes, but they all contradict one another. Never cuddle your baby; Always cuddle your baby; Sometimes cuddle your baby. So which is it?
In the end, you have to make your own rules. And just when you think you’ve established some sort of formula about the way things are going to be done, then you find yourself backtracking on all you’ve decided. Two steps forward; two steps back: The momma-baby two-step.
In fact the only thing you can really count on is baby’s yelling. Because you can be absolutely sure he’ll let you know when your so-called rules don’t fit his agenda.
Sometimes, I try things that make my baby cry LOUDER THAN EVER.
Sometimes, he looks at me in horror as if to say, “I can’t believe you just did that!”
And that’s when the doubts creep in. Because, truthfully, I don’t know the first thing about babies. I’m an infant novice. What if August works this out? What if he puts two and two together and realizes I’m not the perfect mum?!
And it’s times like these that I have to remind myself that we’re each just learning one another. He’s new to me; I’m new to him. At some point we’ll find our rhythm. You know, maybe when he’s 20 and I’m 53.
As long as you love the socks off of him, there’s nothing you can do wrong. At least that’s what I tell myself. I also hear the voice of my old boss Jill in my head all the time when it comes to the work/mommy balance thing (and pretty much every other thing): If you act stressed and unhappy about it, the kids will be too. And the opposite too, of course!
Ha ha! The mummy two step. You’ve got it spot on! Now that Stefano is 6 years old, i feel i’ve got the hang of it . . . being a mum that is. But don’t take me as a benchmark. I’m a SLOW learner. Enjoy the experience . . .
Congratulations my love. You have mastered motherhood. There will never be 2 mums alike or 2 babes alike and the combinations therein. All the manuals and all the advice is what others have experienced with their combinations. You and August will be forever unique so do what feels natural for you and what he requires. Do everything with love and all will be well. You are amazing and I am humbled by your efforts. August is a very lucky little fellow. Auntie Ashley is correct. He does resemble his mum.